Dating Apps Continued, or... What I've Learned This Month

I'm going to do my best here sharing more personal stories because if I didn't feel like there were people out there that could benefit from my experiences/mistakes, I wouldn't bother. Not to mention, people like to laugh at my follies. I'm nothing if not amusing in stumbling through and living my life.

Like being single again and dating now at 48 years old. Yeah, yeah, keep laughing all you coupled people. I've had a lot of people tell me how much they enjoyed my post about dating apps. And most people who enjoyed it are married or in long-term relationships, laughing and thanking their lucky stars they're not "out there" anymore. Well, I have news for you people, as much of a shit show this scene is, it's also pretty fun. I mean, I get to window shop for humans from the comfort of my own couch, gleefully judging them in ways I would NEVER do in person. "Tank top? No. Holding a fish? No. (btw, it feels like men are presenting women with their food gathering prowess like, "LOOK WHAT I CAN DO! I CAN FIND YOU FOOD AND YOU'LL NEVER GO HUNGRY IF YOU DATE ME!".... like when a cat drops a dead bird at your feet. Just, no.) Seeking "discreet" relationships? Nope and also, ew. Also keep in mind this online shopping and judging is done by a woman in her pjs with the news on and a cup of coffee or glass of wine (at night, people. Coffee, morning. Wine, night. Wake up, repeat.)

"Me bring food."

tinder guy with fish.jpg

I've been on dates, struck up a conversation with someone across the country (thanks Tinder for that airport layover connection), been offered money for one of those discreet arrangements (I believe that's called prostitution... no I didn't accept. I KNOW MY WORTH DAMMIT!), been asked shockingly inappropriate questions within minutes of chatting with someone, googled terms I had never heard before then had to clear my browsing history because WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE, asked out by guys who are slightly older than my son ("Your mom probably wouldn't approve") and have met some super nice guys.

I am grateful I'm a confident, social person who can talk to just about anyone. Lord knows I've done so much networking for my business that I'm incredibly comfortable getting to know someone very quickly. That's helpful in deciding if I want to see someone again or if it's just not worth our time. Listen, I don't want to waste what little time I have left on this planet (because I'm OLD as dirt) with someone I find boring/irritating/inappropriate/ignorant. OH, and I totally got ghosted once. A guy asked me to meet one evening and when I went to confirm, he just didn't answer. I'm guessing his wife found out about his profile. So. Many. Married. Men.

Moral of the story: go to networking events. No, no... actually there is no moral to this story. I consider this more of a super quick mindless read for your entertainment. You're welcome.

Kris Janovitz